“Tantra encourages us to make our sexual needs and desires known to each other, with greater confidence that they will be responded to and fulfilled. ” ~ Tantra Student
“Tantra Stories” is a series of touching testimonials from our Source School of Tantra Yoga seminar students. This story is written by a married man who practiced with his wife to achieve non-ejaculatory orgasms, connected communication and sexual intimacy. Learn more about our Tantra Seminars HERE!
When the topic of male orgasm without ejaculation was presented at our Beginner’s Weekend Seminar, I was very skeptical and resistant. I told the group that it seemed like a ploy to get men to make do with less. The teachers responded that it really could be an enhancement to a relationship, not a downgrade, and encouraged us to pursue it.
In the eight months since the seminar, my wife and I have diligently practiced many of the new things we learned, including trying for male orgasms without ejaculation. It took a number of months, but we finally figured out how to give me orgasms without ejaculation. I had to learn to be both aroused and enjoying, while simultaneously being very relaxed and calm. And my wife has become quite skilled at diverse “yin” loving behaviors. Now it has become a normal part of our wonderful sexual life.
We have noticed significant improvements in many areas of our relationship including better communication, greater connectedness, more diversity and a greater sense of freedom in our lovemaking!
After the seminar, our practice of Tantra greatly improved our communications. Tantra encourages us to make our sexual needs and desires known to each other, with greater confidence that they will be responded to and fulfilled. We can say more clearly what we want more of, less of, how, when, where – and even show the other what to do. And our partner is happy and eager to please. Even moans and groans take on added significance and give direction to a willing lover.
We also experience a greater sense of connectedness with one another. By including chanting and breathing exercises (spoon position) in our lovemaking, we find ourselves increasingly able to focus clearly on one another. Mental distractions fade, concerns of the day diminish, anxieties, priorities and schedules recede in significance as our awareness of each other’s presence fills our spirits. Our hearts open and synchronize with one another. Our selves release outwardly toward our partner and we become consciously closer. And there is less of a sense of “I” and more of “we”.
Our practice of Tantra has enhanced our sense of sexual diversity within our relationship. Tantra teaches us a wide variety of techniques for kissing, touching, vocalizing and uniting with one another. Awareness of the rich variety in lovemaking replaces stale repetitive feelings of “same old, same old”. Every time we get together is fresh and unique. Lovemaking has become new and unpredictable again. Surprise and wonder have been rekindled. We don’t know what to expect next, but we know it will be good!
And finally, our practice of Tantra has fostered a deeper sense of freedom in our relationship. In the experience of Tantric lovemaking we see and affirm all aspects of our sexuality as good, and feel more free from worries, ignorance, misinterpretations and dark doubts. We are more free to risk new behaviors together, knowing that if we misstep, we will work things through with one another and get to a better place. We are freer to explore, to learn, and to let ourselves be happier individually and as a couple.
~ P.F. Tantra Student