Certified Tantra Educator Spotlight with Robert Wagner, CTE 3
For me, exploring Tantra has been a journey of continual amazement, delightful surprises and profound healing.
From my initial eavesdropping on a talk Charles Muir gave at a local bookstore (my ears perked up at “multiple orgasms”) to the healing sessions I’ve been privileged to facilitate, the art of Tantra has played a tremendous role in how I show up as a man, not only in relationships but with friends, at my jobs, and in small everyday encounters.
What strikes me most as I continue my own work (as we all know, the possibilities are endless once you begin to open up…) is not only the transforming power of Tantra but the tremendous hunger I notice in both men and women for sexual healing and wholeness.
How did Tantra get such a hold on me? It was probably my first beginner’s weekend in March 2006. Thinking I was a pretty open man already, I experienced a huge energetic shift as I caught a glimpse of what intimacy could offer – my current paradigm was shattered. I realized I had the choice Charles Muir refers to:
Did I want to continue as an average lover or become a master at making love to a woman?
I was humbled as I saw women begin to experience their sexual energy and the amount of pleasure it could bring.
In my Level I Teacher Training with Source School of Tantra Yoga, I learned how to give to and honor a woman; experiencing the sexual energy of a woman as she opens up was extremely powerful for me.
Now it was my turn: Level II training taught me how to receive. Men tend to be wrapped tightly, and base chakra work is essential to unleash the latent energy there. Experiencing my first full-body orgasm only strengthened my excitement at the possibilities awaiting all lovers: if you can breathe into it, keep opening up to the pleasure, your body can experience its full aliveness, its true sacred power and flow.
Level III for me was learning how to dance with the masculine and feminine energy – how to actually send and receive love with a partner through the eyes and heart and fingertips, without even touching.
It was time now to starting living the work, sharing it with others. My toolbox was full, no more classes needed – it was time to give it back. I remember thinking very clearly, “I can’t keep this inside.” I was ready to embody Tantra, to mirror back what I had learned in a very sacred, authentic way. So I hung out my shingle, and Wild Sacred Desire was born.
Sacred Desire offers intimacy coaching for couples, techniques in the Art of Tantra (from Soul Gazing to Sacred Spot Massage) and healing sessions for individuals and couples. Couples are seeking how to regain the sensual spark in their relationship; women are curious about how they can experience more pleasure in lovemaking, and men seeking to connect more closely to the woman and to their own power. Often a need for sexual healing arises, to address past emotional wounds or physical trauma that may be hindering the person’s openness to love.
I approach healing sessions with respect and compassion, letting the man or woman begin from where they are and take things completely at their own pace to arrive at their goal. Creating a safe, sacred space is essential. I remember working with a woman who hadn’t been with a man for 20 years and wasn’t sure if she had any sexual energy left at all. The session was a beautiful unfolding that restored her confidence in her sexual receptiveness, and it gave her tools, which she very much wanted to bring to her new relationship.
Another inspiring venue for presenting Tantra is human sexuality classes. Recently I addressed a group of men and women aged 18-60 who were enrolled in a community college nearby. The response was huge: I presented the basics of intimacy through Tantra and concluded with a soul-gazing exercise. They were so obviously hungry for knowledge of how to be fully present in relationship and have a genuinely meaningful connection with a partner. I was aware that it was myself, rather than the techniques I had to share, that most affected them: people feel that presence, that aliveness in our beings that Tantra brings forth.
It’s that presence that I feel most in my own personal life. I’m more awake, more alive and more compassionate when I listen to people. I feel more grounded and youthful. I belong to a men’s group, and I feel I’m a better man because of Tantra, able to be more honoring to both men and women. There’s nothing like the feeling of “showing up fully” in a situation.
I even bring Tantra into my vision quests. On the Warriors’ Quest, a journey for men, I share the basics of Tantra after the men return from their 4-day solo in the wilderness. In that open, expansive state, men are ready to hold the knowledge of how to truly honor a woman. They are most grateful.
Why is Tantra important for our times? Because we need to heal ourselves fully as men and women. We need to realize that everything we need is inside ourselves, and find a way to let that light shine – not just in the bedroom, but in our work, our families, our community involvements. When we’ve embraced that energy and let it transform us, the world will truly be a different world, full of love, harmony, and wholeness.
Robert Wagner of Ashland, Oregon has been a Certified Tantra Educator since 2006. He completed his Level I training in July of 2006, Level II training in December 2006 and Level III advanced training with Charles Muir in July 2007. Robert has also worked with Loraia Ward in several “Dancing the God & Goddess” workshops. His Tantra work is shared through his business Sacred Desire (www.wildsacredness.com).
Robert also completed the New Warrior Training with the Mankind Project in 2002, and became a Vision Quest Guide through the School of Lost Borders in 2005, leading journeys in Death Valley and the Southern Oregon wilderness through The Seventh Quest (www.seventhquest.com).